Kung Fu Stallion is an embarrassing drama in which Jackie Chan teaches a horse how to fight. But for a happy childhood, the actor forgives everything

A touching conclusion to a long career.

In world cinemas, Guardians of the Galaxy 3 is shown, and our viewers are entertained by Kung Fu Stallion with the legendary Jackie Chan. Alas, the actor is 69 years old: he no longer performs cool stunts and does not cope with the drama. Therefore, the film is unbearably dull – only a touching ending saves it from defeat.

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The film consists of jokes about a farting horse and clumsy fights.

With “Kung Fu Stallion” everything is clear from the very beginning. In the introduction, Jackie Chan’s hero and his horse, Fire, run away from the sewers. In a narrow passage, the horse gets stuck: then Jackie pushes it from behind, and Firepaw farts and neighs. And in the next frame, the hand slips and enters the horse. Funny?

In another episode, the daughter introduces Jackie to her fiancé. The girl puts her hand on the knee of the chosen one, but he is afraid of her father and nervously pushes his palm together. After that, the characters laugh hysterically, and I feel ashamed.

The action sequences are no better – despite Chan’s good form. The actor will soon be 70, and he is still jumping and swinging his legs. But it’s impossible to perform Jackie’s crazy tricks, and there was clearly not enough time for long rehearsals. Therefore, all fights are primitive and shocking with ragged editing. Blow – gluing – blow – gluing – and so on until the final.

The mediocrity of fights is confirmed by unsuccessful doubles, which are traditionally shown against the background of the credits. Previously, the actors in them suffered and were forced to grab their hearts, but now they laugh when they looked into the wrong camera.

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However, the director did not put on action. “Kung Fu Stallion” is a two-hour drama about the hard life of a stuntman. Once the hero was a superstar, and now he went bankrupt, had a fight with his family and settled in the stable. The faithful horse gives hope, but even that one is about to be taken away by the evil bankers.

This is an adequate premise for a decent drama – it’s a pity that the writers spoil everything with ridiculous decisions. The heroes now and then quarrel out of the blue: here they are happy, and in the next frame they are suddenly rude to each other and run away, leaving the viewer in bewilderment.

Script mediocrity is ideally described by an episode from the finale.

One of the central themes of the film is the conflict between the hero and his daughter. Once Jackie’s character disappeared and did not support the child after the death of his mother. The girl considers this an unforgivable betrayal, but he does not justify himself in any way.

Only in the finale does the hero admit that he unsuccessfully performed the trick and fell into a coma – therefore he did not know about the family misfortune. Jackie was silent for a banal reason: the truth would ruin the plot.

The film draws only the horse Ogonyok. He effectively rushes around the frame, overcomes obstacles, fights spectacularly and gives out emotion. It is with the horse that the most touching and funny episodes are connected.

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Jackie has the right to star in a bad movie

“Kung Fu Stallion” is 2 hours long. Most of this time I hated the film, but in the final I was inspired. It’s about the hero, who looks like Jackie himself. This is a desperate daredevil, not sparing himself for the sake of a good trick. He broke his spine, crushed bones, lost teeth, tore ligaments, but he never stopped.

In the end, the daughter finds a cassette with the best tricks and nightmarish injuries of the hero. All of them are taken from real films. Remember how Jackie jumped from rooftop to rooftop in Rumble in the Bronx and broke his ankle? And how did he fall on the stones and hit his head in the “Armor of God”? Or moving out of the building in Who Am I? The authors recalled frightening and legendary episodes.

It’s not a fair move to play on nostalgia and show Jackie suffering, but it works. Even the breadcrumbs will be felt!

After a touching retrospective, I remembered how I sat with my dad in front of the TV, rewinding the tape and revisiting Chan’s best tricks. The actor made my childhood happier and earned the right to shoot in Kung Fu Stallion.

It’s a bad movie, but a good tribute to Jackie. And if Chan is happy, then my heart becomes warmer.