We give simple advice.
A year ago, I helped my girlfriend Nastya fall in love with video games. Now I have turned my personal story into a universal collection of advice, but not to show that I am better than others.
I want you to see that there is nothing complicated about it. Video games are a great shared hobby that allows you to get to know each other better and give you an endless number of jokes that only the two of you can understand.
Answer yourself the question — why?
If you dream of a partner who, like you, knows the location of all the swamps in the Miyazaki games, just find him.
It makes no sense to remake a person for yourself: firstly, this is violence; secondly, a copy is always worse than a unique individual.
There are plenty of good reasons to make your girlfriend/boyfriend fall in love with video games, such as spending more time together or opening up more to your partner.
Personal experience. I had two reasons — official and selfish.
According to the first, I consider video games to be the best possible form of art, giving amazing emotions and experiences. This should be shared with loved ones.
According to the second, I don’t really like to leave the house and I needed to find a reason for my girlfriend to always be there.
Get ready, society has a negative attitude towards games
The society accuses video games of many sins — from infantilism to propaganda of violence. To prove to your partner the stupidity of such ideas, arm yourself with the words of Socrates: «People do evil because they do not know what good is.» So give examples and explain:
- Many famous actors, musicians and bloggers love games, and Henry Cavill should be awarded the medal «For popularization» at all. For your convenience, the Game World Navigator has even prepared a separate playlist: 7 games (stars talk about their favorite games);
- Video games are recognized as an important art form: famous actors and directors are friends with Kojima, the main HBO series this year is a film adaptation video games;
- Finally, this is a common hobby: «we spend the same amount of time on TV shows and books.»
Personal experience. It helped that my friends are also heavily into video games. Nastya first witnessed and then took part in endless discussions about the mechanics of soullikes, watching Sony presentations and talking about the greatness of Persona 5. A living positive example is better than any gigachad from the Internet.
Don’t be a toxic gamer
We often do not respect other people’s opinions, and people who are not able to kill Malenia at the same time on a gamepad and a dance mat are considered unworthy at all.
Like Smaug, we do not allow all these telephone casuals, Zoomer tiktokers and … women to our great knowledge. They occupy a special position in this mythology — they are a totalitarian sect from which you need to hide your passions and who are not able to understand our complex-unique-special-amazingly male video games.
Stereotypes work because we support them. Even if the pinnacle of your partner’s gaming career is «three in a row» — this does not mean that he is a lost soul. Video games are a complex and multifaceted industry, so everyone will find something of their own, regardless of age, gender, profession or views.
Personal experience. For years, I kept quiet about my embarrassing gaming hobbies. So much so that I even came up with a test — it’s time to end the relationship if, instead of meeting a girl, I go to find out where Ciri is.
Now I think that video games are a great reason to open up to a loved one — yes, I said that I cried in the final of TLoU 2, but this is our little secret.
Start small — choose the first game
The first game is not the same as the first sex. She is very important.
When choosing, rely on three principles — easy to manage, familiar setting and visibility of the gameplay:
- Ideally, the control should be either one-button, or “no matter what you press, something still happens,” as in fighting games;
- The same applies to the setting. Video games are a realm of conventions that are taught from childhood: HP and mana strips, weapon color, leveling systems, etc. In order not to turn the game into cramming, choose a setting that is either as realistic as possible or consists of abstract, but completely readable elements, as in World of Goo.
- The gameplay should be clear and literal, with clear consequences of actions: if you don’t jump, you fall into the abyss, let the enemy get closer, and you die, etc. Therefore, no builds, multi-stage tasks, etc.
Avoid strategies, RPGs, shooters, slashers, roguelikes and other genres with complex mechanics.
Your choice — interactive movies, platformers or action games from Sony, there is an extensive system for setting the difficulty.
The main thing is to consider the interests and hobbies of your other half. I like the infantile style of children — games from Nintendo, loves everyday life and just wants to relax — Animal Crossing or Stardew Valley, prefers cinematic stories — the soap movie from Sony is your main ally.
Personal experience. For Nastya, I picked the perfect game — Detroit: Become Human. A completely understandable world, a series structure, a minimum of controls, customizable difficulty and a deep personal story — all that she loves.
Turn games into fun activities
It is not necessary to play together. Make video games part of your everyday life: go shopping, share memories, tell fun facts, put on game soundtracks. And show your favorite videos – in our couple, this video about the top games of 2020 has gained cult status.
Stories of how you went to sleepovers with a friend with a prefix or organized multi-day marathons of «Heroes 3» in the hostel are welcome.
Find common ground between what you play and what your partner loves.
Remember, no one likes to just listen — show that the opinion and emotions of a partner are important to you.
Personal experience. Nastya is an interior designer, so I discussed with her the architecture in Control, and how developers reveal the plot and create atmosphere through the environment.
I also persuaded her to go through Resident Evil 7 together, because at heart I am a little boy, afraid of any rustle.
Play It Takes Two
In an ideal world, instead of this text, five words would be enough — «Play It Takes Two.» Yousef Fares and Hazelight Studios are geniuses. It Takes Two is ideal for couples, not only because of the plot that revolves around love and relationships. The game makes you act together, negotiate, make joint decisions and hope for a partner. It is loyal to mistakes, but at the same time allows you to feel the significance of a personal contribution to the overall success.
Personal experience. I went through It Takes Two twice. First with Nastya, and then with her best friend. Therefore, I say with full confidence that you get much more pleasure if there is a difference in skill, if one player is experienced, and the second gets confused in the buttons and constantly asks: «What should I do next.»
Don’t impose your opinion
Remember, there is an independent adult nearby. Therefore, do not force the choice that seems right to you. He can figure out what he needs.
Forget prejudices about genres and platforms, don’t try to make you fall in love with specific games, don’t use stereotypes and don’t copy other people’s stories.
Personal experience. At some point, I decided that we were ready to become a real gaming couple with our own console for each, and I bought a Nintendo Switch.
The most logical choice — I wanted us to play in parallel, plus a lot of cute games that Nastya should have liked.
Along with the console, I took Animal Crossing and Ring Fit Adventure — the first was to satisfy the love of cute animals, positive atmosphere and communication, the second was to show the functionality and capabilities of the Switch.
I’ve never been so wrong.
It’s been our least favorite console for over a year now. Even travel doesn’t help. If earlier she just stood on the eternal charge under the TV, now she is discharged in a backpack.
I just did not understand that for Nastya the most important thing in games is to compete and interact with other people. Two aspects, which, by the way, are the least interesting to me.
Let the partner look for his own games
At some point, you will have to let go of a loved one, because now he is able to choose the games he likes. This is both a beautiful and scary moment, because what follows is complete uncertainty. Nothing else depends on you, the mission is 100% completed.
Personal experience. Nastya started with a passion for interactive cinema from David Cage, then went through PlayStation exclusives, then there was a short period of Fall Guys, until at the end she found her main gaming love …
Once Nastya saw a video of Ksenia Dukalis and Anton Shastun discussing Fortnite (I hope they will call me to work in Cool-Girl). I admire her ability in social interactions — she wrote under the video that she had long wanted to try and is looking for associates. And after a couple of hours she already had a girl’s chat of like-minded people. They started playing together, sharing experiences, making friends a little, discussing the game and just chatting about everything. As a result, she had not only a favorite game, but also a good friend.
* * *
Any, even the most noble undertaking, can lead to completely unexpected consequences. In my rainbow world, I thought that if we had a common gaming hobby, we could have fun together and get to know each other better. It’s all right… only playing Fortnite co-op turns into a mockery of my skill, and in order to run Total War on the computer, I need to enter into tough negotiations about the duration, the order of the game and waiting for these «a few more rinks» to end.
